Handle With Care

Friendship means a silent rapport between two people who may not essentially have same interests but great liking for each other. Till children are in teens they aren't much bothered about friendship. Even parents don't feel worried but in teen age suddenly all turn their attention towards the growing children making them feel little awkward.

Frankly speaking they are in confusion and stress regarding personal appearance, sudden growth which they find uneasy, lots of unanswered questions and above all this parental interference in everything they do. They hang between childhood and growing age. None gives them importance only pouches of advice.

The only thing they like is friends. They find comfort in friends' company but freedom is often restricted on the grounds of falling in bad company. Now the question comes to mind, how to determine good and bad friends?

I wont agree that average studying students can't be good friends and only toppers are eligible for friendship. No one can spoil a person if they have strong will power and good understanding at home.
When we fail to give enough love and understanding then only they select something wrong away from parental view.

Every person learns practically things through friends, even selection of friends. No one can claim of being an expert. Instead of restricting friends you should invite them home so that you know with whom your children are friends with, in a way its good too as they wont meet outside thus less chances of worrying over character changes.

Don't ever insist on growing rich and focus on money as the best thing is our efforts to raise our level high and in that we go through the procedures helpful in excelling. Instead help children grow in loving atmosphere so that they are able to understand and learn true values of life.

Children are innocent and pick up easily the things we emphasize. Never ever do the mistake of discriminating people on financial status. Most of the good character people have face great hardships and shone bright in life. There are so many things our children learn from friends without clashes of ego and complexes. We should give them enough space to grow as an individual and in this friends have great importance. For each other only friends can go to any extent without second thoughts. Never estimate anyone on the basis of income, community, qualification and looks. Its an incorrect attitude to judge a person by behavior and character.

By discrimination, we give them complexes and insecurity which grow constantly. Teach children to be friendly and loving- the very essential qualities almost liked by all. If anyone is in trouble, only friends rush to help immediately. Even the children who fall under wrong habits can be mended lovingly and patiently. To hide insecurities i have seen boys smoke and drink. They need understanding and love not hatred.
Genuine affection has tremendous powers to change. I would love to mention one incident here.

I was working in a concern as a trainee under a person who was supervisor. Though I hated him, initially due to his foul language and rough behavior, still had no option than work with him. I used to observe him silently, within a short span of time, i found him to be a very genuine, good and very helping person but his language was a drawback. One day i asked him directly why he talked in such a low language so as to create a bad impression and disrespect. I told I feel like slapping you at times whereas on the other hand great respect too. He smiled and extended his hand of friendship. Congratulated me on my boldness and explained that every person is shaped through his experience and him being not educated, could not move in good circle so opted foul language easily. As none dared to talk to him directly he never realized it. His father had a business so living style was good and people thought him a good person. It was not but his mistake at all.

From that day we became so close that in my hardships he was the first person to support me in every possible way. Though junior to him by almost 18 yrs he accepted my suggestion and harsh comments willingly. I must appreciate his genuine attitude as it takes heart to accept our negatives that too from a junior.

Gold and Diamonds also need to be purified; same goes for human beings too. Never hurt others in such a way so as to humiliate as it would have violent reactions. Love and affection have tremendous capacity to change a person.

Today I am proud to say that I have a few genuine friends who were considered as not good but turned to be genuine people. With little love and understanding attitude, I got strong and everlasting friendship, to whom I can always turn and get true understanding and love.

A person faces many things thus finally we see the personality but only the outer shell and label them, but this is the worst thing which can hurt and spoil their nature. Love always wins and patience combined certainly brings desired results. Its my suggestion to parents not to control children for moving with friends instead being close to them which would help them grow and come out as confident and good beings. Respect the sentiments of your children, counsel them, don't simply crush as we too were in their age and may have made many mistakes. Our aim is to shape them, not make them arrogant. Little care, patience and understanding would surely make your children to be proud of you..

Neelima